I’d see these same guys out on dates with women ten years older than them, or women who already had kids, or women who were alcoholics. Dating websites were trying to keep me looking for as long as possible. I quickly realized the awful truth: dating websites weren’t trying to help me get dates. My buddy joined me as cofounder and we began our industry research. The online dating industry is designed to make you feel like you’re accomplishing a lot, because all of these sites get paid either by showing you advertising or by hooking you into a monthly, recurring membership fee.

I did this exact same thing, and got similar results: women who couldn’t remember where they parked their car after two drinks, women who drank heavily on the first date, women who couldn’t stop talking about their ex or dead husband, women who’d had zero long-term relationships in their lives.

My city is about 500k people (with 2 million in the surrounding metro area).

Here’s the other side of the equation, my input: I view my current situation as a sort of boot camp; what I’m doing is clearly not working very well for the current dating market I’m trying to crack.

I think you’ll agree that is a pretty solid guarantee. Here are the only seven pieces of advice you really need to make a great photogenic impression: 1. A DSLR or camera with interchangeable lenses is best. Your second photo should be you in an awesome activity (snowboarding, sky diving, whatever you really love.) Your third photo should be you with a big group of friends (please, not you and 6 playboy bunnies, that’s try-hard.) At least one but preferably all your photos should show you smiling. Having said that, I do think the entire online dating industry needs a big dose of transparency and, for that reason, I submit to you, dear reader, my results for my first week back to online dating in quite some time, the week of 10/31 – 11/7: This was all Cupid, and I should mention that not all of this “reduction” through the funnel was women blowing me off: out of the 5 phone numbers I got I deliberately chose not to pursue two of them.

Camera phones take crappy quality pictures (yes, even the i Phone 4s/5). From all my reading and talking with friends, the above numbers seem like a pretty middle-of-the-road, average experience for a male in his 20s or 30s on Ok Cupid in a medium-sized urban area.

An obviously posed, professional shot says “try hard.” A subtly-professional or awesome-amateur photo says “He hangs out with amazing photographers, I bet they could make me look that good.” You want the latter. Suddenly it all made sense: why would the hot girls appear “online” before I signed up, only to evaporate when I finished my profile?

This terrible realization had massive implications for how I had to go about dating.

After many many months struggling with online dating and coming up with solutions (as chronicled on this blog) I decided to succinctly collect everything I’ve learned, including all the time-saving tips, in a single, easy-to-read ebook. this is a “Best-of-Craigslist” post that runs over 1,000 words and has 8 illustrations. Follow those nine points of advice, and your pictures will be better than 75% of the photos on your competitors’ profiles. Why would attractive women start “checking out my profile” like clockwork after I hadn’t logged into the site for a week?

In this book you will discover the secrets of how I: As a FREE bonus, I also decided to include the Craigslist M4W personals ad that has pulled the best for me over the years . Pretty much every time I run this ad, I get you 30+ real women responding with their pictures. Meaning you should be the only thing in frame, and the surroundings should be almost blurry. Have your picture taken late afternoon, or late at night. Why were there so many gorgeous, well-written profiles that had been created 2 years ago and still weren’t deleted? Online dating is a network-effects industry: if you have hot profiles, you’ll get signups. Because of this, it is a common practice in the industry to jump-start the “network effect” is to “seed” the site with fake profiles (or pay people to put up profiles they have no intention of using) and you have a recipe for really frustrated men. but not before amassing hundreds of thousands of hits, views & messages from real users. You also have to guard your time carefully, message appropriately, and stack the deck in your favor as much as possible — since the deck is, by default, stacked against you.

if you take the time to use the FREE bonus craig’s list personals ad — that I will refund your money 100%, for up to 90 days after your purchase date if you use the material therein and don’t get the results you want. Ok Trends own data suggests that you need a photo taken during the “Golden Hour” within an hour of sunset or sunrise. Have photos with you with looking into & looking away from the camera. A candid in a well-fitted T-shirt or in athletic action (surfing etc) will let her know how built or ripped you are. As more “real” users sign up, these fake profiles are gradually “weeded out”. The fact is, every modern dating site has significant churn — users logging on, creating profiles, then deleting them a day to a week to a month later — either because those users couldn’t find anyone they liked, or they were disgusted by the massive influx of crass messages landing in their inboxes (the most common outcome for women.) In fact, in my own experience with popular free dating site Ok Cupid, between 15% and 30% of all profiles I messaged went dark (deleted) every week. In upcoming posts, I will describe those “deck-stacking” techniques I found most useful.

Basically, the book is the cost of a deli sandwich — and I’m offering to give you the cost back even after 3 months have past if you don’t like the taste of the sandwich. Some women will find you more attractive when you’re looking away (i.e. Your first photo should be just you, clear, with a shallow Do F. (That’s a HUGE annual churn rate.) Finally, the incentives of a dating site, particularly a free one, create massive “dating market” inefficiencies: It is. Let me start this post by saying that a gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.